Today was a great blessing to us. We sat through several speakers at our adoption training and we finish up tomorrow. The training was so encouraging..we heard from many different people..two of the people had been adopted as children and a family came in that has adopted two children. We also heard from an attorney and a Bethany social worker. The testimonies were amazing. I am in awe of the parallel between the concept of adoption and how God adopts us into His family when we accept Him as our Savior. At the point of salvation, we become His adopted son or daughter and we get all the privileges of being an heir of Christ! Incredible. All the promises in the Bible are ours and His riches are ours when Christ becomes our Father. I am still asking Him to show me what this all means!
We learned so much today. One of the biggest things with domestic adoptions these days is that they are moving towards more of an "open relationship" rather than a "confidential, closed" situation. There are varying degrees of openness..the minimum requirement by Bethany Christian Services is that we provide pictures and a letter about our child once a year for the BirthMom. Many families are going well beyond this though and keeping in touch via email and even having visits with the biological family. It was stressed how important it is for a child to know their story about where they came from- whether it was a good situation or a bad situation- they need to know (always on an age-appropriate level)! Children can often carry a misconception that they weren't loved if they were placed for adoption but the opposite is true- it is out of great love that a Mother sacrifices raising her child in order to find a better family situation for that child.
Another point that was made is that it is important not to share with others all the details about your child's birthstory until the child knows first. It would be painful for the child if they learned any of that information from someone other than their adoptive parents. It was suggested to start telling them the story from birth (at that point- it's more for the parents to get comfortable sharing it, rather than the baby!) but it sets in motion that sharing of truth about where they came from.
One of the speakers spoke on parenting and he explained that one of the important parts of disciplining our children other than boundaries and consequences is setting a good example in the way we conduct ourselves. We've all heard this before but WOW! that really popped out at me and I know God had that for me to hear. If my behavior is lacking self-control and I am acting undisciplined, what am I teaching my kids? Ouch. I get exasperated watching my daughter with her drama-infused-displays of emotion and I am literally watching myself played out! God help me. :)
There are 40 couples on the waiting list with Bethany right now in VA. We are getting ready to start making our family profile which is like a scrapbook about our family that will be shown to the BirthMoms that come through the Bethany offices. There are three offices in VA. Our profile will be shown at all three offices to the Moms who match our criteria. We also have the option to put our profile online so that Moms in other states could see us too. This is an exciting process! I am so comforted knowing that God knows exactly who are baby is and holds all the details in His perfect plan for our family. I am so glad He is writing our story.
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